The Grace Fueled Wife | Communication, Intimacy, Restoration, Marriage

E197// Tried everything to connect and feel like your getting nowhere?

In this episode, I dive deep into the world of emotional pursuers—something I know all too well from personal experience. I'll share my story of how years of tiny rejections and a relentless drive for validation shaped my adult relationships, leading to constant anxiety and a desperate need for connection. We'll explore how these anxiously attached styles develop and the exhausting cycle they create. But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom! I'll tell you how I began to heal by leaning into my faith and re-identifying myself through God's eyes, rather than seeking my husband's validation. This episode is all about finding strength in your identity and embracing grace in your relationships. I hope my journey can offer you some guidance and hope if you're facing similar challenges. So, if you're an emotional pursuer longing for connection but often finding yourself in a cycle of blame and resentment, you're in the right place. Let's work on becoming the grace-fueled wives we aspire to be, together. 
 
00:00 Introduction: The Weight of Tiny Rejections
01:03 Understanding Emotional Pursuers
01:48 A Personal Story of Perfectionism
04:00 The Impact of Inconsistent Caregivers
04:40 The Exhausting Cycle of Pursuers
08:12 Finding Strength in Faith
09:42 A Path to Healing and Connection
10:22 Conclusion and Support
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Work with me:
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E196// It doesn't matter what I do, I'm never going to get it right

In this episode I continue the discussion from last week about negative communication cycles, focusing specifically on emotional withdrawers. I'll share a personal story and explore why some people withdraw emotionally in relationships. We delve into how childhood experiences and societal expectations shape this behavior. I highlight the struggles that withdrawers face, such as feeling unsafe expressing emotions and the pressure of perceived failure. By understanding their experiences, we aim to foster empathy, and improve communication. Join me to learn more about how to offer grace and nurture a healthier relationship. 
 
03:06 Understanding Withdrawers
04:07 The Impact of Upbringing on Withdrawers
05:07 Withdrawers in Professional Life
06:51 The Emotional Struggles of Withdrawers
10:40 Empathy for Withdrawers
 
Wait!!! Before you go! 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
Work with me:
Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching
Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free. 
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider

E195// THIS is the REAL reason you struggle with communication.

In this episode, we dive into the root causes of disconnection in marriages focusing on unmet emotional needs and negative communication cycles. I share a personal story showcasing how recognizing these cycles and responding differently can transform interactions. Using a practical exercise, I explain the mechanics of negative communication and how it perpetuates disconnection. Tune in to understand how you can stop these cycles and start feeling connected again. Don't forget to check out the free video training and our community resources - If you’re already on my insider list, I’ve included it with this week’s email.
 
00:23 Understanding Communication Issues in Relationships
01:19 Personal Story: Handling a Partner's Mood
04:09 The Negative Communication Cycle Explained
04:38 Visualizing the Communication Cycle
13:14 Impact of Negative Cycles on Emotional Needs
14:29 Conclusion and Resources
Wait!!! Before you go! 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
Work with me:
Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: https://thegracefueledwife.com/coaching
Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free. 
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news: https://thegracefueledwife.com/insider
Download the visual aid from this episode (If you’re already on my insider list it will be included with this week’s email): https://thegracefueledwife.com/cycle

E194// 3 Steps to diffuse an argument today!

In this episode, I give you some tips on how you can put defensiveness aside and respond with grace when a situation gets challenging! We explore the emotions behind defensiveness and how to navigate them effectively by learning the three key steps to deescalate an argument. I also share how validating feelings and communicating from a place of understanding can make a huge difference in your relationships. 
00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back
01:13 A Personal Story of Defensiveness
02:28 Reflecting on Emotional Reactions
05:52 Practical Steps to Deescalate Arguments
09:15 Final Thoughts and Announcements
 
Wait!!! Before you go! 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
Work with me:
Schedule a 45 min 1:1 coaching call: thegracefueledwife.com/coaching
Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free. 
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news.  Thegracefueledwife.com/insider

E193// Why is it easier to talk to my bestie than my husband?

In this episode, I share insights gained from my recent experiences in therapy training, highlighting the importance of emotional safety in relationships. I discuss how a clinician's listening approach influenced my willingness to share and how this relates to fostering emotional intimacy in marriage. 
I further explore how being a safe spouse means being present and non-judgmental, which requires self-awareness and understanding of what safety feels like. Join me as I reflect on my personal journey and offer practical advice on how to model this crucial aspect of a healthy marriage.
02:32 Personal Reflections and Training Insights
03:34 Understanding Emotional Safety
06:29 Applying Emotional Safety in Marriage
07:59 Restoration and Final Thoughts
Wait!!! Before you go! 
 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
 
Not ready to work with me yet? These are some ways to learn about me for free. 
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news.  Gracefueledwifesteps.gr8.com

E192// Why I scrapped my most popular episode and what's new for 2025!

In this episode, I address my hiatus from the podcast and the reasons behind it. I discuss my evolving perspective on marriage therapy, shaped by both personal experiences and professional training. Join me as I share insights from my journey, touching on the importance of working on personal issues before tackling couples therapy. This year, my goal is to provide you with tools for achieving security and intimacy in your relationships. Follow along every week as we embark on this journey together. Until next week, my friends!
 
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Here are some other ways you can become a part of my community!
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Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity

E191// How to be accountable for change in your marriage WITHOUT being a doormat!

Understanding Grace, Boundaries, and Wisdom in Marriage
 
In this episode, we revisit episode number two, where I discuss how we can't change our husbands, only ourselves, and the importance of offering grace. Taking it a step further, I address common concerns about feeling like a doormat and emphasize the difference between silence and wisdom. Silence is fear-driven while wisdom involves choosing the right moment to express oneself. We delve into practical steps such as using effective communication, setting boundaries, and regulating emotions to foster a healthy marital environment. Through empowering ourselves, we build stronger, more loving relationships. Join me in our community for more discussions!
 
02:29 Reflecting on Episode Two
03:08 Understanding Grace in Marriage
04:19 The Difference Between Silence and Wisdom
05:25 Biblical Insights on Fear and Wisdom
08:00 Practical Steps to Change and Communication
11:13 The Power of Boundaries
11:46 Emotional Regulation and Final Thoughts
12:46 Building Community and Closing Remarks
 
Wait!!! Before you go! 
Here are some ways you can become a part of my community!
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news.  Gracefueledwifesteps.gr8.com

E190// How to regulate your emotions and be less reactive w. Samantha Skelly

Harnessing the Power of Breathwork to Regulate Emotions and Trauma
This week's episode features an enlightening conversation with Samantha Skelly, founder and CEO of Paws Breathwork. Samantha shares her journey from battling anxiety and an eating disorder to discovering the transformative potential of breathwork. She explains how breathwork can help regulate emotions, reduce trauma responses, and create space between triggers and reactions, which can be particularly beneficial in relationships. We explore the science behind breathwork, its spiritual connections, and its practical applications. Samantha also guides us through a brief breathwork exercise, demonstrating its immediate impact. For those interested in further exploring breathwork, Samantha offers resources through her Breathwork app and facilitator training. This episode is a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve emotional regulation and overall mental well-being.
 
00:00 Introduction to Emotional Control
02:03 Meet Samantha Skelly: Breathwork Expert
03:52 Samantha's Journey to Breathwork
07:16 The Science and Impact of Breathwork
11:05 Breathwork in Relationships
24:21 Practical Breathwork Exercise
34:16 Final Thoughts and Resources
Learn more about our guest here!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samanthaskelly/
 
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Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
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E189// Is that normal? Discerning through marital disappointment vs. destructive abuse

Understanding Emotional Abuse: Disappointing vs. Destructive Marriages
In this episode of the Grace Fueled Wife Podcast, I'm delving into the critical difference between disappointing and destructive marriages. Building on last week's discussion about emotional abuse, I reference Leslie Vernick's book, 'Emotionally Destructive Marriage,' to provide clarity. We explore what it means to feel emotionally unsafe and identify when it crosses into abuse. We'll also discuss the importance of fully disclosing your situation to a therapist for proper guidance and support, even if it means going alone. This episode aims to offer insights and resources for those struggling in emotionally abusive relationships and emphasizes that you do not have to live in such a nightmare, even as a Christian. Stay tuned as we navigate these heavy but essential topics together.
 
00:00 Introduction: The Fear of Speaking Up
00:29 Understanding Emotional Abuse
02:44 Disappointing vs. Destructive Marriages
03:36 Real-Life Examples and Quotes
05:24 Therapist's Role and Client Disclosure
10:59 Mandated Reporting and Emotional Safety
15:14 Concluding Thoughts and Resources
Wait!!! Before you go! 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news.  Gracefueledwifesteps.gr8.com

E188// I want to go to marriage counseling but he refuses. What should I do?

Navigating Marriage Therapy: Tips for Encouraging Your Spouse to Participate
This week, we dive into communication strategies, using 'I-statements,' and how to approach the topic with your spouse in a way that makes them feel safe and understood. I'll also share insights on clarifying what you want to achieve in therapy and the common issues couples face, like miscommunication, mistrust, and lack of emotional safety. Plus, we'll discuss options for those whose spouses refuse to go to therapy. Tune in as we explore how to make marriage counseling a more approachable and effective process.
 
00:00 Introduction and Personal Confession
02:24 Common Issues in Relationships
04:47 Challenges in Seeking Marriage Counseling
06:16 Effective Communication Strategies
12:16 Clarifying the Core Issues
18:37 Taking Action and Seeking Support
21:38 Conclusion and Community Engagement
Wait!!! Before you go! 
 
Here are some ways you can work with me or become a part of my community!
Join my community on Facebook - The Grace Fueled Wives Club https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraceFueledWifeCommunity
Become an Insider and get updates on all the podcast news and ways to work together.  Gracefueledwifesteps.gr8.com